Day In The Life 7.23.12

Thanks for your patience.  Being on a staycation can really throw off any resemblance of a routine.  However, having rest and relaxation as the alternative to that routine is an incredible trade out.  I’ll take it!  So much has happened since my last posting…

The Financial Advisor came over and we had an incredible time.  He’s so kind and considerate and we made nooky so many times that I lost count.   I was secretly looking forward to him leaving in the morning so that I could get some rest!  Since he’s left, I’ve had time to reflect on our time spent together.  It’s a wonderful No Strings Attached relationship, however, I’m getting a little confused on where that line is for the emotional connection.  I’m a firm believer that a connection has to be there for the sex to be amazing, however, when does it step over the line into being a real relationship.  I’m not looking for the real deal right now, but apparently Mr. Financial Advisor seems to think otherwise.  Over the past month, I didn’t hear anything from him until he wanted to get together (Note:  Exactly what I want out of this arrangement.) and then Thursday night he referred to our incredible time together as “making love.”  But, I don’t LOVE him.  I just really enjoy spending time with him.  I am a little worried that he might be attached more… but is that reason to end it?   He already asked me to spend time with him tonight… I’m backing off.  Not through any fears of mine, but I don’t want to give the impression that I’m going to drop everything to be with him.  If he were a long-term relationship, that might be another story.  But, this is not going to be anything more than it is.  Incredible as it may be.  🙂

The remainder of this long weekend and the last days of my staycation have been spent reflecting on life, spending time with friends and studying creative writing.   The relaxation continues although I must now ramp up for heading back into the office.  I took a quick look at my Blackberry today and so much work has piled since I’ve been gone.  Looks like some long work days are in my near future.  But, all this time off makes it so worth it.

The highlight, however, of this past weekend was the opportunity to do a bioluminescence kayaking tour at night.  It was incredible!  Kayaking in the dark with a group of friends under the beautiful, starry night made for some incredible reflection time.   The night also lended itself an opportunity to see shooting stars, unphased alligators allowing us to see them up close, and the need to completely trust those around you.  I had no idea where we were, however, our guide made us feel comfortable and always led us where we needed to go.   And then… we made it to the height of the bioluminescent activity.   The glow of the water and the sparkle of the bioluminescence in my hand-made the experience magical.  There is nothing natural that glows and sparkles in the dark like that.  We all felt like that we were in this place that only existed in fairytales.  Because we were in the dark, we very well could have been.

The days in the life of late have been incredible.  I am truly blessed.   🙂

 

Day In The Life 7.18.12

Wow!  It’s been a crazy few days.  Relaxing final day at the beach, followed by lunch with a dear friend on the way to checking in to a casino with 10 friends and then heading to a festival concert.  Oy.  I’m tired.  But had the best time.  There’s nothing like listening to your favorite musical groups live.  The energy, amazing music and the corresponding appreciative screams from adoring fans make it one of the most therapeutic moments that I try to experience as often as possible.   It was go… go… go from the moment I woke up until now.  Even in bed last night, my brain wouldn’t shut off to allow me to sleep.  I think I may be experiencing a deep slumber with the comforts of my home surroundings in my very near future.

On Monday, I heard from both the Doctor and the Financial Analyst who wanted to get together this week.  I find it peculiar that with a month and a half dry spell… that I then hear from both and they want to get together within 24hrs of each other.  As horny as I may be, I don’t have the energy for both in this short time period.  I’m still debating if I want to see the Doctor again.  On the back-end of a dry spell, he’s an option.  However, I REALLY like the Financial Analyst.  He’s sweet, caring and makes me feel like so much more than a romp in the hay.  There’s a real connection… intense.  He’s polite and wants to actually go out before having incredible sex.  We talk and enjoy each others’ company.  AND at the same time… when we go our separate ways afterwards… it’s done until next time.   I’m slightly giddy to see him tomorrow.  And it will be a night in… casual.   Wine, talking, ordering in from the fantastic Italian restaurant close by… and then putting an end to the dry spell… over and over again.  🙂  THIS is how an NSA relationship should be.  SO looking forward to it!  And the Doctor doesn’t even enter my mind at all when I think about him.

I completely enjoyed my time at the casino yesterday.  Slot machines have come a long way since the last time I played them.  I’m not a gambler… but those machines are fun.  It’s a shame that they go through your money so quickly.  Ironically enough… my luckiest machine was the “Sex In The City” one.  When I first considered partaking of my first NSA relationship, I did so with the desire to tap into my inner “Samantha” from the show.  She’s an incredible role model for the woman wanting to tap into her sexual curiosity.   She’s smart, funny, self-confident and doesn’t give a damn.  I’ve found my inner “Samantha” in my journey over the last few months and I like it!   I find that I’m not afraid to hold a man’s gaze when he’s checking me out.  I outwardly flirt when I find someone who is interested.  Let me be perfectly clear that I don’t have a desire to sleep with any man who looks at me… however, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and feel amazing doing so.  So, when the slot machine last night proved to be a winner… I just took it as a sign to keep heading down the path of sexual confidence.

I’ll be skipping tomorrow’s “Life.”  I’ll proudly be enjoying experimenting with that “Samantha” inspired sexual confidence with an incredible guy.  Keep stepping out of that comfort zone… you may find a part of you that’s been hiding that needs to come out and play.  And you’ll feel incredible unleashing all of that pent-up side of you that you’ve been secretly wanting to be.  Have fun!!!  🙂

Day In The Life 7.15.12

Today was the perfect example of the importance of going off the beaten path on a journey. I was on my way to my two day get away and decided to visit a nearby attraction that I’ve always wanted to see. Not only was it incredibly beautiful… I had the opportunity to meet some very nice people and take some amazing photos. I’ve been on a little hiatus as of late with my photography and it felt so wonderful and relaxing to look at the world from the refreshing perspective of a camera.

The detour also provided some extra activity time to stall the time needed to check into this amazing resort. Wow! On the ocean, two golf courses, several pools, a one bedroom suite, my own concierge… was not expecting this! I feel incredibly spoiled and I’ll take it. After all, it IS my “ME” weekend. Time to get my brain in alignment and figure out what I need to focus on in my future. I try to do this at least once a year. This place is perfect.

I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to reach out and call one of my NSA boys to meet me here and have a much needed booty call. But, then, I thought… this weekend is about me. Hopefully soon, though… this girl is really in need of some lovin’. It’s been too long. I’m also contemplating to jump back into the official dating scene and see if a long term relationship in more in order. I don’t want to play second fiddle anymore. The sex is amazing and so risky, but when all is said and done… it’s so empty, too. I just need to figure which type of relationship I WANT to pursue. Both have their benefits and not so desirable aspects. Perhaps the NSA thing can sustain me until Mr. Right comes along. Who knows, really. One day at a time, I guess.

Went kayaking yesterday. Such a beautiful place with clear blue spring water. You could see all the way to the bottom. Gorgeous! The trip became interesting, though. The friend I usually go with brought someone with him that I’m not sure how to describe their relationship. I know that they dated in the past. I think they may have a friends with benefits going on. Or something… so hard to tell. I’m completely easy to get along with… however, she was so stand offish from the moment she arrived at the meeting location. I think she thought we were all there for her. She didn’t talk the entire way to the kayak location and then lurked 20-30min behind the rest of us so that my kayak friend would stay back with her and tow her. He did it, of course, like a little puppy dog. But it made for a very segregated trip where they lurked behind and we moved forward at a slow pace yet somehow ended up 20-30min ahead. She was just inconsiderate, that’s all. And THAT is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. So… needless to say… I won’t be going on many trips if she’ there. (Unless, of course, there are lots of really cool people who go along, too.)

Ok… Off my soapbox. And signing off, too. Relaxing day ahead tomorrow. Looking forward to it! 🙂

Day In The Life 7.12.12

Ahhh… the first day of my staycation.  Absolutely lazy day of nothing and LOVED it!   Did laundry… made a list of “to do’s” for the next 12 days and planned out my time to include “Rest” and “Relaxation” as “to do’s.”  Officially, my vacation starts tomorrow with a dear friend hopping from Starbucks to Starbucks taking advantage of their new free fruity drinks.  Yes… I’m social and frugal at the same time.  Such a multi-tasker.  🙂

I need to just stop the internet dating thing.  Received a text this week from a guy that I went out on a couple of dates with and for the life of me, I can’t remember who he is.   I had his first name and could not picture his face.  In my defense, though… I did go through many frogs before I found a 3rd date prince.  But, all in all, I remain incredibly single with a couple (or at least one) play date(s) that I see every once in a while.   And I’m definitely in a place where I’m SO ready to see him soon.

I have been pondering lately on what is next for this girl.  I’m incredibly happy.  Even in happiness, I still map out my future and set my next goals.  I’m ready for adventure.   I’m learning French, studying creative writing in the hopes of writing a novel, continuing my blogging and photography.  Hoping to have some deep personal insights during this time off.  It’s amazing how much clarity can be achieved when you have time with your thoughts.   Having that time while lounging by the pool, sitting by the beach or just enjoying the quiet that you create yourself… makes all the difference in the world.  Work is such a distraction.  Except for the very sporadic checking of the business cell phone, work is definitely going to be placed on the back burner for the next few days.  And I’m perfectly ok  with that.  🙂

So much personal reflection in the days ahead.  (And hopefully a little nooky, too!  😉  )  Until the next day in the life… Bonne Nuit!  🙂

Day In The Life 7.5.12

Another July 4th in the can and I spent it at home relaxing.  This year my friends who I normally spend the holiday with gorging on incredible grilled and smoked meats lovingly prepared since the day before were out of town.  I definitely missed watching my friend execute his minute by minute plan with the brisket, burgers and BBQ.  Watching him his like watching a beautifully choreographed meat-a-palooza.  If he could make love to his meats… he would.  He talks to them.  Strokes them.  Caresses them.  And tends to their every whim to make sure that they come out just perfect.  And they often do to the delight of us who carnivorously take part in each of the various meats’ demise.  The meats are so incredible!!!!!

I’m not one to brave the large holiday crowds to watch fireworks.  Happy moments seem to turn into frustration when finding a parking spot is close to impossible.  You grab your lawn chair and blanket only to walk miles to a spot that ends up being in front of a tree.  Everyone is so hot and tired around you.  Then children scream out of extreme fear once the pyrotechnics light up the night sky.  The combination of “oohs” and “aahs” and blood curdling screams just don’t seem like a wonderful way to spend the evening for this single girl without children.  Instead, I had a nice glass of wine and sat out on my balcony watching all of the store-bought fireworks right in front of me and as little sparks of light on the horizon in front of me.  The only sounds around me were the pops of the fireworks and crickets.  Now THAT is a fantastic, relaxing way to spend the holiday.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Back to work today.  Can’t complain, though.  Tomorrow is already Friday.  Who could ask for anything more?   Made the mistake today of eating a large lunch and dinner by going out with friends.  I really can’t move right now.  This is what Jabba the Hutt must have felt like.  Seriously.  I feel disgusting.

On the guy front… not a lot of news.   I did receive another text from my clingy first NSA guy.  He just doesn’t get it.  I’ve told him it’s over… quite a while ago.  Yet, he can’t stop texting me to try to hook up.  Another night of not responding.  The boy needs to get laid… but, it’s not going to be by this girl.  Not opening up that door again for him.  He needs to find the line and quit stepping over it.  He’s hedging on the line of being creepy.  I’ve cut off all communication for a while now.  Opening it would only encourage him.  Something I definitely do NOT want to do.  Oy.

One day at a time.

A Day In The Life 7.3.12

The best part of the day… the period has arrived and now I treasure the sound of angels singing in my head. There is a God! And to him (or her)… I am forever grateful. My link the the doctor can now officially end and I can pursue safe nooky with someone who can respect me and my body. Can I get an Amen?

Received interesting text messages this evening after having sushi with friends. I’m driving home and my first ever NSA experience told me that he missed me and wants to hook up again. He’s a great guy and all… but he was WAY too emotionally involved in our “relationship.” Always checking in. Wishing me a great day every morning. Texting 3-10 times a day. He truly did not understand the perameters of a No Strings Attached arrangement. If I wanted a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have pursued this option in the first place. Now he’s back and continuing with the emotional connection. I’ve learned that I just can’t respond to his continuing texts. By doing so, I open the possibility to continuing the emotional umbilical cord . And I never wanted it from him. This is a big shift for me… I’m not used to being the one comfortable with a lack of emotion. But, the boundries were drawn and very clear. I’m just holding up my end of the bargain and just ask the same of him. We’ll see. Since breaking it off a few months ago, I seem to hear from him every few weeks. Just more of a reason to keep it where it is. Complete and Moving On.

It’s almost midnight and all I can hear outside are fireworks being lit in the surrounding communities. And a couple hours ago, it was a very severe thunderstorm. So much for sleeping and I’m sure tomorrow will be just as distracting during needed slumber. Wouldn’t be the same without the familiar sounds of July 4th, would it? I’m seeing my summer break just around the corner. I’m looking forward to turning my work brain off for a little bit.

One day at a time.

A Day In The Life 7.2.12

I love this week at work! Work two days… take one day off… work two days… take two days off. 🙂 Could every week be like this?

It’s been an interesting weekend full of personal reflection. I’ve decided to move my creative focus from photography to creative writing. Who says you can’t do both? However, I have given the last two years honing my photography passion. It’s time to focus on writing creatively. I started a blog a few years ago that I’ve written sporadicly. Now… I started pontificating my deepest, darkest thoughts and secrets with this blog. I am trying to pontificate creatively, though. 😉 How am I doing? So… now, my latest plan… write a novel in the next few years. Do I have any thoughts on genre or plot? Any formal training? No… but, that never stopped me before. I’ll learn and set up some goals. It’s just what I do. AND I WILL DAMMIT! 🙂

No new news on the man front. Although, I did have many impure thoughts of the Financial Advisor this weekend for some reason. Maybe it’s just been a while since I’ve had relations. And I do miss it. I miss kisses, nakedness touching nakedness, losing inhibitions… all of it. Call it my French lineage or being in my female prime… or both… but, I NEED it. And I’ve never really needed it before. But, I have to be smart about it. No more stupidity like I had with the Doctor. (By the way… still no period… and a third negative pregnancy test. The ulcer will be arriving momentarily, I’m sure.)

Some sad news yesterday. I discovered that my second cousin had an anurism and is now on life support until they find out if they can harvest his organs. He was a great man: a bit older than my parents; lived life to the fullest after having a heart attack over a decade ago; was a previous alcoholic that overcame his addiction and owned the local watering hole; and gave back to his community tenfold. He will be missed and I wish I could go to attend his services. However, I know that my Alzheimer riddled grandmother, who I love beyond words, is getting very close to being overcome by her disease and I can’t afford two trips up north. I hate that it comes down to making a choice… but this one is a no-brainer. I’ll need to mourn on my own and in my own way for my cousin. May he rest in peace.

One more day in the life. Enjoying as much of it as I can.

Day In The Life 6.30.12

I’m so tired.  Up early again today to spend time with a friend that was kicked out of her house by pest control.   Her 4hr homeless experience meant shopping, interior decorating by braille (i.e. I’ve never been to her house… I made some decor choices after she described her home to me.), and educating her on the best sweet wines at World Market.  I walked away with $50 of wine (a French Syrah and a French White Brut) for $20.  Great finds for me for a nice quiet night at home.  🙂    I’m starting to get quite the reputation for having style.  Too bad I didn’t have that label in high school.  I could have been one of the cool people.  😉   Instead, I was the band geek with braces and the trench coat wearing friends (when they were cool instead of psychotic).  This stylish girl should be able to catch up on her sleep in the morning.  Absolutely NO plans for tomorrow.  Ahhhh…

I did make the mistake of researching my period woes online this afternoon.  EVERY single one of them mentioned that I should be pregnant.  Which, of course, led me to another panic attack and pregnancy test.  Which then left me with a sigh of relief when it revealed it was “Not Pregnant” again.  How many more times do I need to do that damn test before I’m truly convinced that I’m not?   I’ve never been had such a strong desire to bleed before.

Speaking of strong desires.  It could have been the additional free time this afternoon or the Rosetta Stone French lessons, but I had an urge to call up my NSA guy for a hook up.  What in the hell am I thinking?  Going from the fear of being pregnant to wanting to just be naked with someone opening up the possibility to go through another reason to panic again.  My hormones must be completely out of whack.  What the hell?   Fortunately, common sense took over with some retail therapy and I bought a few things on Amazon and felt better.  AND I provided a little personal enrichment by purchasing books on Creative Writing.  I’m hoping this blog will be so well written it will be like that novel you can’t put down.  While I’m at it… I may get that bucket list novel out-of-the-way as well.  Looking forward to refocus those strong desires into some productivity.  At least until the Financial Advisor is back in town in mid-July.  😉

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.   Hopefully, some time by the pool.

A Day In The Life 6.27.12

Busy day and so much fun!  Had the opportunity to visit an incredible show I used to work with.  Full circle… working with them for an event in the fall and met with them afterwards to discuss their participation.   So excited to see old faces in new facets of life.  Now the fun part… taking an existing show… chopping it up and making it work in another location.  I have my work cut out for me on this one.  Definitely looking forward to it!  🙂

On the way home, received an interesting voicemail.   Financial advisor is in town and wanted to meet for dinner and play afterwards.  I seriously debated it.  As much as I would LOVE to do that right now (it’s been a while since our last excursion), I just wasn’t up for it after heading home at 9pm.  Didn’t have time to freshen up and look like I didn’t work all day.  Besides, there are certain preparations that a woman takes for a night of frolicking and I definitely didn’t have time for that and start out any earlier than 11pm.  He’s a very passionate, attentive lover.  We definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep and tomorrow is a crazy day beginning with a dentist appointment of all things.  Dammit… as a slightly horny woman right now, I think I may be regretting that decision.  We did, however, decide to meet up the next time he’s in town (which unfortunately mid-late July) and would have our next passionate rendezvous, then.  Definitely something to look forward to.  🙂

On a side note… no word from the Doctor.  Thinking that he may have disappeared.   Still waiting on that period, too.  Not worried yet, took a pregnancy test this weekend (when I was supposed to start) and it was negative {whew!}.  Besides, at 40… periods are anything but regular.  Going to wait a week… if nothing then… another test.   If negative then… we’re in the clear and my body is just a hot mess.

Never a dull moment in this day in the life.  🙂  Looking forward to tomorrow… sushi dinner!!!

A Day In The Life 6.26.12

Saw the sun today!!  The end of Debby is near.  One more day and she should be out of here.   Now… if only the people in the apartment next or below me could do the same.  I swear they have a fast-moving elephant in there and they play fetch inside.  Boom… boom boom… boom… it’s been going on for at least 45min.  Maybe they have a bowling alley in there.  It truly is ridiculous.  Is anyone considerate anymore?  It’s after 10pm!  It’s a good thing I’m going into work late tomorrow… I may need a little extra time in the morning.

I get to jump back on the French band wagon today.  I had a Rosetta Stone license through work, but you can only get it for 3 months at a time.  I’ve been waiting for my renewal since my last expired in April.  Today… I’m happy to say I’m taking even more steps closer to learning the beautiful language in the hopes of heading out to France within the next year or so.   It’s always been a dream.   One step closer with every new word I learn.  🙂

It was a day, however, where I realize how truly blessed I am in having so many incredible people in my life.  I have a true friend who isn’t afraid of telling you her opinion especially if she feels you aren’t living to your potential, another great gay friend who you can pretty much tell anything to and asks question that make you think about what you really want in life (he’s the best girlfriend ever!), and another who made the biggest step in his life by asking his girlfriend to marry him in one of the most romantic places on the planet.   Good peeps… each one of them.

So, today is a day full of gratitude.  And I’m truly thankful for friends, French and fun!   (And not quite so thankful for the frolicking in the apartment somewhere around me… it’s STILL going on… really?).   I need to investigate.   Later!  🙂